Ramadan Kareem

I think this week might just have been one culinary mash up too far. 

I've been thinking about Ramadan a lot. Always keen to be inspired by ready made festivals its presence in the diary couldnt really be ignored. Especially after last week's 4th July bash and all the excess it seems to represent. It felt nice to try to introduce the concept of fasting even though Ramadan also involves feasting. It began on Wedsnesday which happened to be the day of Eldest's school yr 6 leaving "prom". (Don't get me going on the whole prom thing for 11 year olds. That's for another rant). 

I spent a happy hour or so perusing the Internet and though I was unable to yield any particular ideas for an Iftar (the meal to break the fast) I did happen across the Muslim Council of Great Britain's Meeting the Needs of Muslim Pupils in State Schools.  It's a fascinating read and I learnt loads. Not least that though children are not expected to fast a full day until they reach puberty they often fast from individual meals or do half days to get used to the discipline slowly and to enjoy the sense of community shared with the adults. 

Ramadan fascinates me. I am drawn to and repelled by its severity in equal measure. I feel glad I am part of a religious persuasion that doesn't require of me anything nearly as hard. And yet I feel totally amazed by the  commitment and satisfaction displayed by those who fast for Ramadan. I don't really know if the Council's guide for schools takes in a whole range of Muslim approaches to the month of fasting. Is there, as I suspect, a variety within the community, as there is with so many things which seem monolithic on the outside? The the report seemed to suggest unanimity of approach which I was surprised by. To be honest I was surprised that children fast at all. It mentioned that teachers should be aware that children may be very tired having risen before dawn for the suhoor (pre dawn meal). It suggested children be given something to break their fast even if they are being kept late, ie beyond the time for iftar (the meal at sundown) for detention for instance. And to offer children who have free school meals a packed lunch to take home if they wanted it. It even mentioned that some parents will keep children from swimming lessons in case they swallow water unintentionally (though it did concede that many feel this is unnecessarily strict). 

It made all the chocloate fountain plans for the "prom" seem ridiculously inappropriate for a school with so many Muslim kids in it. I got onto my high horse immediately and emailed the Head to see what was the likely fall-out. Would some kids find it very hard to be surrounded with sweet treats? Would many just not come? I had plans for providing some take-out boxes so kids could at least take some of the party food home if they were not able to enjoy it at the Prom itself. Wednesday was just mad for me and, to my shame, I never made it happen. But the kids seemed mostly to be there, and having a wonderful time, so families just must have made it work somehow. Like they do probably all the time when their particular needs are not catered for.

So, all this lead to me planning a Travelling Tuesday with a difference. I would simply delay our evening meal... I would not give any snacks after school but to talk about fasting, and the particular Islamic approach to it. So that we would feel just a little bit of hunger when so many neighbours are experiencing 18 hours without food. And then to break our (mini) 'fast' with some 'normal' food, knowing that curries and other things that may be gracing the tables of our Pakistani, Bangladeshi or Nigerian neighbours' iftars, would not go down well with the kids. I figured Muslims must break the fast with their 'normal' food so that in the case of British converts could that not be pasta or pizza?

I like to think that the idea, in theory, was a good one. In practice there were a number of definite problems:

1) A friend asked Mr Middle for a play after school and though I said I would pick him up before tea, I knew that he wouldn't arrive having 'fasted' since lunchtime.. that his post-school snacks would be much more impressive than any I usually serve up.

2) As I left with Youngest the long-suffering mum sent one of her many boys after us to see if he would like to join them. So that was two out of three who were not exactly going to know how it felt to be hungry.

3) As soon as I got home the Eldest's friend arrived so I could do the piano-lesson-run. It was a hot day and so I dished out ice creams. For everyone. Me included. It was only later when were half way to piano that I realised that generally ice creams are not allowed if you're fasting! (I was always like this as a youngster when I tried, several years in a row, to give up biscuits for Lent. It would be on about biscuit number 3 of the day, some way part through an evening, that I would remember that I shouldn't be eating them at all!)

4) On our arrival back from the lesson, we were all a bit hot and though I was careful not to fall into the ice cream trap again (!) I was a hairsbreadth away from glugging a pint of water before I realised I shouldn't be drinking either. 

5) When N arrived at about 7pm, relatively late from work, there was a distinct 'Where on earth is tea?' look in his hungry eyes. Hurray I thought - at least someone hasn't eaten since lunch. But he looked distinctly unimpressed when I told him tea would still be quite a while and though I did protest I couldn't quite bring myself to be hardline about the peach.

Except that it's the deciding what to eat part of feeding the family that I find so wearying. Happening upon Marks and Spencers 'Dine in for a tenner' seemed too good a deciding factor to pass up and I thought I could make it stretch to a family of 4 which includes 2 boys who don't eat much and a girl who's a veggie - and it certainly did stretch given that the boys had already had pizza by the time they arrived home! Even with a foreign twist (duck in plum sauce) it was possibly the weirdest iftar ever eaten. I love the idea that traditionally people have broken their fast with dates, so we enjoyed some lovely sticky sugary lozenges (well the kids didn't really enjoy them to be honest. Don't really understand it when they don't like sugary things) but that's probably where any likeness to an itfar meal stopped. We even finished off with profiteroles. I ask you.

I'd like to report that even though the 'travelling' aspect of the food left a lot to be desired all our conversation contributed to a fantastic insight to fasting, Ramadam and the Muslim faith. I wish. You'll have to look elsewhere for that... http://interfaithfriday.wordpress.com/ is a good start.. an interfaith innitiative in London and including a Christian's reflection on how it was to fast with Muslim neighbours for 10 days during Ramadan. There's a lot of inspirational stuff out there. Here? Here it's a bit more mundane! I think for me Ramadan will forever be linked to M&S 'dinner for two' and profiteroles. Just don't ask for any profound theological reflections!